... Belle & Sebastian In Three Track Single Shocker! ... Hefner In Lazy Third Album Disgrace! ... Ooberman In Multi-Format Re-issue Frenzy! ...

Every time this happens, I always get upset. You might think me melodramatic, or an alarmist, or an anorak, but I have to bore someone with my office chair rantings.
So far, Belle & Sebastian have never annoyed me in the slightest. Every release has been a delight, every song a new gem to hold close to your bosom and sigh. But I am disturbed.
After the Brits award, I was a little worried that their next single would be a three track affair. Four track singles are not eligible for the charts. This means that they are not normally playlisted by Radio 1, Radio Aire, etc. and so exposure for the song and artist are virtually minimal (apart from Mark Radcliffe and John Peel giving it a whirl). This lack of exposure indirectly translates into higher prices for the single in your average high street shop because the store cannot buy a large enough quantity of the single to qualify for a lower unit price (or so the propaganda goes).
The appreciation of the music is then a slow burning affair, with whispers of its greatness passing from lover to lover. You might stop and think me a little snob at this point. However, I am not the kind of guy who will champion a band only because no-one apart me and my student-y mates have heard their unreleased 4-track demos. “Oh and yes, I bought the limited edition transparent 10" vinyl promo from the independent down the road when it just came out, even before their first mention in the NME, don't you know?”
I want people to know about this band. I truly believe that Belle & Sebastian are the finest band in the UK today. Shout it from the hilltops people!

Belle & Sebastian are the finest band in the UK today.

I'll argue with the cynics who say that are weedy and “la di da” and foppish and anyone else who denies their brilliance. Okay, I don't suppose any one of them would ever die for their music, but I never believed that of The Clash either. It's very presumptious of me even to guess at who they are and what they are trying to do but I still want to protect what makes them special. Oasis were a great band until they started to believe their own hype. And whilst I am not comparing Liam Gallagher to Stuart Murdoch in any way whatsoever (!) the danger is still there.
Belle & Sebastian have only just finished issuing a special box set of their first three singles. I say special box, but it's actually just a thin sleeve with the standard CDs inside. At first I was a bit `nooo!' but Jeepster kindly let fans order the slipcase separate for a nominal fee. Their excuse was that the set was issued so that a) it could save new fans a bit of money for offering three full price singles for the price of two and b) to be fairer to fans outside the UK who have to pay spanky export taxes for every item they order into their country. So it was kinda nice of them in the end. But the rumbling definitely started here.
The next single by B&S is Legal Man. It is a three track single with the title track, and two B-sides, Judy Is A Dick Slap and Winter Wooskie. A mark in their favour is that is will not be released on the forthcoming album, Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like A Peasant. It still seems one song short though. It is not symmetrical. I suppose you could count the fifth song, Songs For Children, on 3..6..9 Seconds Of Light as the `missing' track on this single, but I think I'm getting a bit silly.
I wrote to Mansun about this issue in pop today. The main gist of my letter was that I wanted them to go back to their old policy of releasing kick-ass four track EPs, rather than two CDs and a tape or vinyl single but they haven't replied yet. I did get a nice signed photograph of them though.
Hefner got round the four track rule by making one of the tracks on their single The Sweetness Lies Within a kind of medley. It wasn't a medley at all, the fourth song was just tacked onto the end of the third track, but you felt like it was kind of naughty and Hefner didn't care one jot and stuck spiky straws up the nose of any of those pencil pushers down at City Hall who tried to make their art conform to some rules and a `let's rip the kids off' ethic. And then they did it again with The Hymn For The Cigarettes - hurrah!
They aren't totally blameless though. They've just recently released their third album, Boxing Hefner - a collection of B-sides, newly recorded versions of older tunes and unreleased songs. Out of twelve tracks on the album, only two have never been issued in any form before. Don't get me wrong - it's a way cool album, but the nature of the beast makes it feel like a bit of a copout. Have you ever met a Hefner fan who wasn't rabid and collected everything they could? This type of release is excellent when it's handled with care - every B-side, in chronological order, no `one extra track previously unreleased for the fans' on an album full of little gems. I suppose they just want to try and reach a larger audience, but surely pissing off the current fanbase isn't the right way to do it?
Ooberman love their multi-formatting - but is it the band or record company that should part and receive the hot poker? I'd like to think it was 100% evil record company. Sometimes bands put extra effort into a special form of packaging - Garbage's run of 7" singles comes to mind - and I truly love weird little furry, shiny, cigarette-pack sized, pear smelling, bizarre little releases. But just a standard 7" on black vinyl with an unreleased flip, in addition to the two CD singles, is just plain annoying.

The decision to re-release Shorley Wall as a proper (can-chart) single, brings to mind a picture of a record company desperate to reap hard cash back from what they must coldly see as an investment. A poppy, bubbly, jumping off the ceiling sort of deal but still an accountant-expecting, unit-shifting, business thing. Radio 1 refusing to playlist the song didn't help them much either.
It's that same old dilemma of: I have this cool band that I want my friends to listen to and enjoy because quality should be shared. But as soon as the precious secret is let out of the cool bag then loads of random nobbers start liking your music and it's hijacked!

Stop that dick - he's running off with my cool band!

The stone keeps rolling and soon the record company is putting pressure on our heroes to write really dumb, commercial, of - course - we - can - license - this - to - Adidas - for - an - advert tunes and the once beautiful flower has its petals well and truly plucked. Boo!

I'm being silly of course. In this over-simplified, overtly dramatic, rambling piece on God knows what this far down the page, are some grains of truth. I suppose the commercial pressures facing Mansun are larger than those facing Hefner. I'm not being down on either band here, just trying to get into the shoes of being a pop star.
A friend and I discussed parts of this argument about a year ago. He said that it wasn't fair for me to deny a band it's fame and fortune by purposely being low-key and `indie'. Without bands trying to show the rules as stupid and being in the favour of the record companies, the situation will only gradually get worse. At the time though, it was said that it was the artists who asked for the change in policy, because they were getting worn out by producing lots of B-sides. Diddums. Did M People get tired of asking lots of second rate producers for remixes? Come on - even Robbie Williams makes an effort for his B-sides.
My second gripe is that the second B-side is being issued on the 12" released ... as an extended version. This is the first time that Belle & Sebastian have required that you collect more than one format of a release to get everything different they have issued. Alright, so you don't actually have to buy the 12". But anyone who's ever collected anything ever will tell you that unless you are really really broke, you have to buy the vinyl too.
I love records. I love the smell. I like holding them. I like the fact they are big. Every other B&S record has been released on vinyl. This time though, I'm being made to buy it, when I don't really need a complete collection on CD and vinyl. I don't like being made to do things. In fact, I might have to go out and buy the other singles on 7" and 12" too just to keep everything neat. Did you see that? In one sentence I changed my mind. What a pushover I am. What an advertiser's wet dream!
Is this a middle class white boy argument? Should I be worrying about other things like injustice, racial discrimination and poverty? Probably. I suppose we should could our chickens that B&S don't release singles from their albums, or have crappy remixes as B-sides, or flaky live tracks or CD1 and CD2 and the soft drink and the cuddly toy, but I still can't help feeling a little betrayed. Of course, I'll buy everything and it'll be amazing and cool but there'll still be tiny bunny at the back of my mind, tugging on a nerve.
The death of the EP was a sad affair. Record Collector ran an article to whip up support and I grieved along with everyone else. You really don't miss your water 'til your well runs dry. Corporate blandness threatens us every day. Without Billy Hicks we have no champion. I'm certainly not up to the task but I'll be there chipping at the wall like a few others. Please join us.

Legal Man is out on 22nd May and Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like A Peasant is out on 5th June. Boxing Hefner and Shorley Wall are both out now. It is not imperative to buy them but obviously your life will be sweetened considerably after repeated listenings.

by John McIver.